Spinning Around!

Its 5.30 in the morning and im still awake! Done doing notes for the workshop. Gosh i am so freaking tired. Going off to bed after im done with this entry. Another 2 weeks for the workshop, hope i can pull if off. Wish me luck people, because i know i need lots of it :/

I have my driving practise early. I seriously cant wait for this to end! After that i went to Gurney Beach to see Pauline, who is the owner of the modelling agency. No, im not going to be a model! Im too short for that. I'll be helping out Pauline to give out talks on skincare and makeup during her workshop and classes. And my friend, Ezanee will handle the hair care part. Another girl will do the nails part and Pauline's husband will be the emcee. I hope everything will go on smoothly, aminnn.

After the meeting with Pauline, went to Ezanee's salon. Saw my friend there who's getting married later on after Asar. Betul lah kan kata orang. Kalau time darah manis, muka the future bride berseri-seri je. She was so beautiful tadi. Im sure shes gonna be much more cantik on her wedding day. Bought my shampoo from there and had my lunch at Delifrance with Ezanee. First time try the nasi goreng, sedappp. Luckily my friend suruh the chef buat pedas pedas. Nasi tu so banyak, makan sepinggan so full and also ada 2 cucuk satay but tak makan pun sebab keras. And i ordered bread pudding as well, sumpah tak sedap!

Then after that nak p buat facial or pedicure but no luck both pun tak boleh buat. I just found out kat Origins pun boleh buat facial. And its kinda cheap, RM80 for normal facial for dry skin or normal/combo skin! Cheap lah kan compare to other places cam Aster Spring, Clarins, Kanebo and etc. Pastu tangan ni tergatal p bau one of their shampoos, the ginger one. Bauuuu sangat sedapp! Too bad beli shampoo awal 30 mins, kalau tak sure boleh beli that ginger shampoo. Then pusing pusing masuk L'Occitane sebab nak cari sunscreen tapi branch GP dah tak carry that sunscreen. Apalah nasib. Dah la toner pun kena discontinued. Lepas tu Ezanee dok try la segala macam perfume kat dalam tu. The Cherry Blossom and Rose. Bau rose tu sangat wangi, especially the Candied Rose and we were lucky sebab perfume tu ada 50% off so we bought one each, so tinggal around RM80 ja. Murah kan for a perfumeI love the rose smell! It reminds me of bau kedai Lovely Lace. Nasib baik lah murah kalau tak jangan harap lah nak beli sebab i dont like hate changing my perfume!

I've been using Ralph Lauren Ralph since umur 17. Along the way ada lah try a few perfume; Clinique Happy, Hugo Boss and Armani Diamonds. Armani Diamonds yang berjaya melekat di hati. Tapi dah habis dan tak beli baru lagi. RL Ralph pun dah nak habis. Tunggu lah the bottle habis dulu baru nak beli perfume lain. I want Chanel Coco Madamoiselle too! Anyone wants to derma me RM500 for the perfume hehe and also sangat teruja nak beli Shu Uemura Cleansing Oil. Anyone pernah try this before tak? Any good? Sebab the big fat bottle yang RM200ish tu can last for a year. And also sangat teruja nak try their UV Underbase Mousse, RM108. Semua gara gara Reena. Tapi bila sendiri try semalam kat their counter, seriously the mousse punya texture memang best! Gonna tunggu my Benefit punya primer habis lepas tu im getting one!

So tell me people, apakah perfume kesukaan anda?

PS: Tak suka bedak sejuk dalam entry below :/

Eye Candy

Heaaar heaaaar! You like the brand Coach? Feel like getting yourself a new bag with a cut-down price? Now join the fun with other Coach lovers. Its sale time! Put that salary into good use. Get yourself a bag from Coach! =)

PS: Im not a fan.

RIP

The smart asses at Lancome decided to discontinued my toner sayang. Greaaaaaat, just mothereffin' greaat! Without this Anti-Stress magic, i hope zits and the gang wont be visiting anytime soon.

RIP baby. You will be missed.

Bedak Sejuk!

Okay so i've been bugging a friend of mine to bagi sikit the bedak sejuk yang ada at her house to me. Simply because i do not know am lazy to find one. Dah berkurun tak pergi pasar malam, mana nak dapat kan? Main reason why i want it so bad because her skin cantik pakai bedak sejuk - sahaja. I still remember dulu time kecik-kecik, i think i was around 3 or 4 years old at that time, my granma kalau rajin dia selalu buat bedak sejuk. Those were the days. Sekarang mana ada orang yang larat nak buat bedak sejuk dah kan?

So tadi for dinner i went to Subway sebab teringin sangat the tuna sandwich and Mr. Boyfriend so baik hati nak take me out today so i got what i wanted. Then otw balik singgah kat D-Lima jap and lucky me, nampak berbotol-botol bedak sejuk dalam kedai tu and i bought one :))

Before nak pakai i Googled-up the benefits of wearing bedak sejuk, so now i nak share with all my readers kebaikan bedak sejuk. The benefits are; bagi kulit tegang, mengelakkan jerawat tumbuh, bagi kesegaran to our skin, bantu sejukkan kulit, mengurangkan sebum/minyak and lots more kebaikan to our skin.

Bahan-bahan nak buat bedak sejuk contohnya macam beras, bunga melur, bunga tanjung, bunga cempaka, air pandan and such. Kalau buat cara tradisional bahan-bahan lebih banyak ditambah macam akar-akar kayu, kunyit, jintan manis, cekur etc. Bedak sejuk tradisional dan bedak sejuk botol (like the one i bought) yang dah ready made tu tak sama benefitnya. Obviously the ones yang buat cara tradisional lebih banyak kebaikannya. Selalunya pembuatan bedak sejuk ala tradisional disulam dengan bacaan zikir, selawat dan a few pantang-larang. Contohnya if dalam proses buat tu, bedak sejuk tu tak boleh kena air hujan walaupun setitik. Orang tua dulu-dulu guna air embun kalau nak buat bedak sejuk ni. Sebab kalau kena hujan, nanti bila pakai di muka akan bagi kesan buruk macam pimples and such, and also bedak sejuk tu bila di pakai nanti berbau.

So sebelum nak pakai, i suggest you guys test-on kat tangan dulu. Kalau bau busuk semacam tu tak payah la nak mengagah pakai jugak kan? Kalau takda bau, continue lah pakai. Cara pakai sama macam nak pakai masker. Kalau taktau cara macamana nak pakai bedak sejuk, boleh lah tanya kepada ibu-ibu, bapak-bapak, tok-tok di luar sana yaa.

Have fun playing with your bedak sejuks people!

Eclipse

Holly-schmollyyyyy i cant wait!

That new vampire whathisname dude is so effing hot! Bella is still annoying, ughhhh.

Obsessed.

Hungrehhhhhhhhhhhh. Im craving for kerabu mangga and kerabu sotong. First time ever rasa kerabu mangga semalam and masyaallah sangat sedap okay. Now dok teringat-ingat. This might be my new food obsession for now.

Something about me is, when i like something, in this case ... food. Say if i like something, takkan rasa muak makan that thing everyday. I'll eat that same thing for few weeks then when i find a dish that i like, i'll repeat the same thing with it. Like before this it was Hameediyah's briyani. I am still addicted but i feel like im craving for the kerabu mangga much more now than the briyani.

Paling kesian sekali dekat E. Whenever i want something dia lah kena ke hulur ke hilir drive me here and there. When i think about it, i think i am lucky. He might not be rich with money but he is rich in other things. Rich in his advices, in his supports and many other things. Like many other couples, we do have our ups and downs ... but alhamdulillah till this very day we're still going on strong after 7 years ... and more years to come i hope.

E will always be my ongoing obsession and thaat kerabu mangga is now on the third spot. Second spot of course lah Chanel, duhh. But since E is busy tonight and godknows what he's doing right now not answering my calls, i think i have to settle for the food at kedai tomyam for dinner tonight.

Selamat menjamu selera dear readers! =)

Chuck And Blair

B: Chuck! Stop! Dont go! Or if you have to leave, let me come with you
C: I appreciate the concern
B: No. You dont. You dont appreciate anything today. But i dont care. Wherever you're going through, i want to be there for you
C: We talked about this. You are not my girlfriend
B: But i am me. And you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, i will stand by you through anything
C: And why would you do that?
B: Because i love you

Baru tersedar something. Haihh. I read something somewhere and dah ter misinterpret, misunderstood and segala macam macam miss lagi lah about what the person wrote. Haha so funny lah bila fikir balik. Takpalah a lesson learnt. Semua orang pun buat silap. In this case, i silap paham, haha silly me. Ala bukan benda besar mana pun so life goes on, tra laa laa.

Looking forward for two weddings in May. Actually looking forward kat my bajus sebenarnya, hehe. But that aside, who doesnt love weddings kan?

So many things to do this month. And i have a few projects in mind, hopefully ada rezeki, insyaallah. I dah slow down on online shopping. Sebab lately ni takda apa pun yang cantik. Better use the money that i have for good use. Esok ada driving license, haihhh bila lah nak habis please lah cepat cepat sikit. Tired nak go up and down to complete the license. Lepas ni kalau ada license and kereta for sure i'll miss the pakciks-pakciks taxi. To be driven is a wonderful feeling. And reality check, to keluar money for the cab fare is so not a wonderful feeling.

Why is my birthday so lambat, cepat cepat lah please. Im eyeing on something that i desperately want and need. And i need to get myself a new phone, i hate this stupid Nokia. Dok kata nak tukar tak tukar tukar lagi pun. Suka the camera cause its 5.4 freakin' megapixel tapi phone ni banyak problem lah. I want a BB! Any chance getting my Christmas present early this year o dear family?

My sister's birthday is next month. Bought her something but idk if she'll like it. I hope she does. Kalau tak suka i'll use it for myself but i really hope she'll like it because i hate her ugly Coach purse. Sumbat barang punya banyak dalam purse tu tak ingat dunia. Purse dok kembung gila-gila. Tu la sapa suruh p purse pendek, lain kali beli la purse panjang kan senang.

Can someone please bawak Nars into Malaysia? Can someone make it happen? I know every girl is dying to get her hands on the Orgasm range but since Nars isnt here, susah lah! Smashbox dah ada kat sini so i hope Nars will come to our country soon. And Philosophy too please.

Lastly, i want all of this please. Serious lapar and teringin! Cekodok, kuih keria, goreng pisang, rojak tonggek, laksa, cendol, J.Co donuts; oreo and that glazzy thingy donut, coconut shake, indo mee Bistari, my mother's cooking, putu piring, apam balik, apam telur, murtabak ayam, briyani Hameediyah (tetap di hati), sambal sotong pedas pedas, sticky rice with mango, dan macam macam lagi. And rindunya orang orang ini; Syaza Syazwani, Wan Ezanee, Nea Adany, Takashi Inoue, Zara Rahman and all the cute fat babies with labuh cheeks and dagu lipats in the world! (PS: The first 3 names bukan nama bayi ya harap maklum).

Thats all for today folks, kbye.

Mia Farris i hate you so much right now
 You know why.

Jedi

My baby is gone, i dont feel like writing. I miss you.

RIP JEDI.

Gone

Jedi is gone. I dont think he's coming back, not this time ...











Where are you Jedi? Im so worried. Its all my fault.

Now that thaat icky poo Jessica Szohr Vanessa Abrams and Ed Westwick Chuck Bass are kaput (because that girl cheated on him with a string of guys). Can you marry me now please Chuck?

PS: Damn girl you must be retarded to do such thing!


Photo credit to Just Jared

Yesterday was hari makan sedunia. Went out for lunch with Sazzy at Padang Kota. Dah few days craving for the mee sotong, lastly semalam dapat jugak. Me, being tamak as usual ordered mee sotong besar with extra sotong. Ha ha. And 2 coconut shake and a mineral water all for myself. I finished up all the drinks but couldnt finish the sotongs and now tengah tulis sambil telan air liur because lapar ...

Ruginyaaa tak order cendol, sighh! Then after that we went to Winter Warmers GP for our afternoon tea. We ordered iced rose tea, rose cookies, ice cream waffle and tuna sandwich. Iced rose tea bila minum banyak rasa macam minum air perfume. Mulut wangi je minum tu. So full lepas tu tak larat nak jalan. Thought nak buat massage tapi tak jadi sebab letih sangat after makan tu. Now rasa menyesal pulak tak buat massage.

Yesterday was my Nuki's and my FSIL's birthday. A shoutout to the both of you ...

Happy belated birthday Nuki and Kak Azura!

PS: Tak makan breakfast lagi, otak tersangkut taktau nak tulis apa. Im waiting for lunchtime. Another 1 hour, haihhh cepat lah sikit. I want my ikan bakar cicah air asam. And semalam mimpi cekodok, tetiba. Dah lama tak makan cekodok, goreng pisang, cucur badar, kuih keria and the likes of it ... teringin lah! And also nak lala masak pedas kat Padang Kota, so Sazzy when are we going there again? O btw, semalam tengok dvd Adnan Sempit, sumpah lawak! Ha ha masuk today dah ulang 4 times. Now nak start tengok My Name Is Khan kbye!

Name

And even though the moment passed me by ... i still cant turn away
Cause all the dream you never thought you'd lose ... got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send ... get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans that never knew their names
We dont belong to no one thats a shame
But if you could hide beside me maybe for awhile
And i wont tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose ... the past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there ... did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time ... but I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name ...

Operation Botak, Hameediyah, Twitter and Sixteen Candles ...

Im active on Twitter now yo! Hehe so poyo kan? Before this malas gila nak update kat Twitter then suddenly after reading about the mud fight Fasha S. and Nora D. is having, teruuuus laju je active Twitter! Haha so bloody kay-poh i know but whatevs. ILU ND! Be strong!

Okay that aside, im craving for sago. I think thats the name of the dessert? I tasted it once, a friend of mine made it then suddenly teringat. So sedaaaap if makan sejuk sejuk time hujan. Later nak p supermarket lah beli barang nak buat sago. Hehe macam pandai. Kalau jadi i'll upload the pics, kalau senyap tu, paham paham je lah kan.

Speaking of sago, lately jugak sangat sangat mengidam mee sotong Hameed Pata di Padang Kota. Sedapppnya. Minum dengan coconut shake memang terbaik! Nak ajak E but i doubt he wants to go out before Maghrib, sighh

BTW, i've been wondering these past few days, Hameediyah ada buat katering ke? Sebab kalau i kahwin nak Hameediyah yang cater, ha ha boleh? Im addicted to Hameediyah and i cant stop! Online shopping now dah slow down a bit, nasib baik ... kalau tak bankrupt hari hari order barang. And my bajus dah sampai from the supplier! Im so happy. What i need to do now is to siapkan the website for the online boutique lepas tu everything dah boleh start to roll! Wish me luck people ... and nanti jangan lupa beli baju from me okay? I bagi discount hehe and im also thinking nak derma 5-10% of the jualan to any charity ke apa ke. But havent decided which one yet. Ada sapa sapa boleh suggest anything tak? Sekarang ni im looking at Operation Botak. Its a program organised by World Vision Malaysia. It is to raise fund to help out the kids in Tuaran and Kota Belud with the gift of education and literacy. Hopefully Allah SWT will permudahkan my niat and murahkan my rezeki, aminnnnn. Lets help out those in need in every way we possibly could people!

Wish me luck kids!

/ Edit: 5-10% from each sale of baju, not from the whole sale yea hehe im not that stingy!

If i dont go to Krabi, im gonna use that cash to get myself that beautiful dress from Anizam Yusof ... or Arma Abdul Rahman. I cant make up my mind yet. But the one from Anizam, the color is so pretty, susah to resist. While Arma punya design, the color is a bit dull but the dress is truly gorgeous! Tapi like Arma said, nanti over dari pengantin pulak. Ha ha! So true. So i guess now im leaning more towards the dress from Anizam. Its within my budget. And im gonna book my tickets to Krabi/Bali with the cash too. Insyaallah. Hope everything goes well.

I cant get too excited, nanti jadi macam trip Krabi ni. So sedih. But its okay. I can do good with the spare cash. Boleh buat baju, online shopping, buy my sister's birthday present, and stock-up more bajus for the online boutique, insyaallah.

Lately i've been sleeping alot. And now tengah taip pun rasa ngantuk sangat, i already slept 5-6 hours tadi. And i just woke up 2 hours ago. Whats wrong with me? Oh dang, lupa bagi my babies minum. Gotta roll ... Momma's coming Peaches!

Pandaikan Peaches berdiri dan tengok kamera =)

"The hand that gives, is above the hand that takes" - Napoleon Bonaparte. 

If you dont like me, its fine with me really.

I just cant figure out why are you so angry? I thought you're smart, rich and you're everything that im not ... so why bother?

You might think you know me well, but its all in the past. I've grown. Im not the same person you used to know. Your action reflects who you are really. A bitter, sad person. Im not jealous of you, never. My life is much better than yours now, alhamdulillah. I dont need to find a rich boyfriend just because my parents couldnt give me what i want. I don't need to beg. Most of your 'bestfriends' walked out from your life for what cruel thing you did towards them. And they hate you with all their guts until now. And from what i see, their life is much better than yours. At least we dont wear clothes from 4-5 years back. But since you're 'rich', so im sure there's a strong reason why you still wear your old clothes. Bukan nak menghina, just that ... when you hina other people, you dont think twice.

Its just so funny. Everytime you curse or bitch about me, my life gets better 10x times than yours. That is karma my dear. And that is kuasa Allah. Believe in that. Im sure you know much more than i do because i just started learning all this.

If you feel your life is much better than me, be the smart person that you are and just move on. There's no need for you to bark like a dog. I have my life and you have yours. Good luck.





Denzel Washington once said; "Someone may not like you just because they don't like themselves. But, don't you get bogged down".

I smile everytime i read that, because it is so awfully true.

PS: This will be my first and last entry about you. Kutuk lah all you want. Doesnt matter. Im growing up and sadly you havent. For all the things you said, and for all the things you've done ... you'll get your karma. Maybe if Allah SWT tak bagi problems to you, Dia bagi to your family, to your relationship or friendship ... or to your face.

Im glad you were in my life once. Because if not, i wouldnt be the person that i am today. So thank you for that. I bear no grudge towards you. I've forgiven you and i halalkan every cent.

I really dont feel like going anymore.











I should start focusing on more important things than going for a holiday. The excitement is no longer there. I dont feel like going anywhere. I dont feel like talking to anyone. I can always go anytime. There's October ... or any month after the 'green season'.

Air Pollution

How do you tell someone if she/he has a terrible body odour?

The legendary Hermès Birkin is considered as the holy grail of purses. Victoria Beckham owns 100 of Birkins, over $2 million dollars worth. She is the owner of the Himalayan diamond studded birkin, one of only three in the world which her husband bought as her birthday/Christmas gift and the tag price? A whooping £80,000! Crazy isn't it?

A Birkin is around RM40,000. I swear if i have extra money to splurge i would get myself one, in canary yellow or lime green! But bila fikir fikir balik, you can get four Chanel 2.55 for the same amount as a Birkin. So the question is, would you get that just one Birkin? Or will you be over the moon with four or maybe five Chanels?

Being a crazy fan of Chanel, i think i know what my answer is.

Shedding Few Pounds ...

Since i started going heavy on online shopping, i dont go out that much anymore. I can get everything now by just one click. Clothes, makeups, hair and skincare products, food and etc. And im kinda worried about this new habit. If i dont go out much, i wont be able to 'exercise'! Shopping (walking 10x times around the mall is considered as an exercise, lol) in the mall burns approx 140 calories per hour. And if you're running around with your grocery cart, you'll burn more calories. Since im spending alot of time at home, i've Googled a number of ways how to burn up to extra 200 calories without doing what actually feels like exercise. And this information is useful for people like me, and to all the lazy bums out there too.

01. Gardening - Cutting, weeding or raking for 30 mins or so can really burn off extra energy. If you dont have a garden, why not help your elderly neighbour out with their gardening choirs?

02. Dancing - Take a night out, and dance, dance, dance rather than going out for a meal. Try to dance gently for ten minutes and go for this five times during the course of the night. This burns 200 calories.

03. Wash up - Complete the washing up after each meal for 5 consecutive nights. If you've a dishwasher, give it a rest. Using a dishwasher less saves energy and contribute less to carbon emmisions.

04. Clean out - If you dont fancy washing the dishes, then try cleaning out old cupboards. A good hour of this should be enough for 200 calories.

05. Gaming - Try playing new and exciting games. Board games, cards, or even playing Play Station or Wii can help burn off the energy.

06. Going up and down the stairs - Make it your goal to walk up and down your stairs for a total 20 minutes each day. This can be done over the course of a day. Although, make sure you are fine to attempt this kind of activity before doing so. Maybe start off doing a few minutes each day and build up.

07. Dressing up - Get all your old clothes out and try them on. This can be fun and within an hour you'll burn 200 calories.

08. Hula hoop - Using a hula hoop for 40 minutes total can really burn the calories away.

09. Paint a room - Painting helps burn the energy away, over 200 calories for every hour.

10. Light stretching - Try a stretching routine for half an hour before a bath.  

Hope that helps. Good luck!

I was browsing through my older posts, and i just realized that i started this blog in November. How fast time flies. The main reason why i started blogging is because of few bloggers such as The Pink Stilettos and her sisters and my friend, Reena. I've been following their blog for quite awhile now and i find their life, quite interesting ... and the most interesting part is that, they can lead a fab life eventhough they pakai hijab. And this was 2 years ago, when i first feel like wearing one myself too. I learnt alot from Iza and her sisters, and Reena too of course.

Not wearing hijab, i can work any clothes that i like and make it 'me' but since i started wearing hijab, at times i feel clueless. I still don't know how to 'lilit' the tudung properly yet. And i've been calling my Sazzy's sister two days in a row now for the how-to guide. I know its easy but whenever im at home alone i can never get it right.

And the other main reason why i started this blog is because to get a side income. And also because i strongly feel i have to start one to record everything that goes on with me since im in a better place with my my life right now, and alhamdulillah, for that i am thankful.

Looking back at the past, im not proud of my past 'achievements'. Nothing to scream and shout about really. Found some friends; good and bad ones along the way, lost them. Some of them walked out of my life, and a few came back knocking. There's a reason why i lost them in the first place and why they're back here now. And alhamdulillah too, our lives are much better now than before.

As for the bad ones, not bad as in 'jahat perangai' but bad in the friendship sense. As i kid, i was born with privileges. And i am happy and thankful to my parents and Allah for that. I got everything i ever wanted from my parents. And i lead a much better life than others, but i wasnt grateful for it back then and i didn't know how to appreciate what i had. I still remember my mother used to fetch me from school every Friday for lunch. Friday was the day i looked forward to the most. Spending time with my mother, and shopping of course. My good friend, Aini usually tags along because her house is near to the shopping mall that we go to. One day, i wanted to get this hair straightening cream but my mother refused to buy it for me. I was furious and i wanted to cry, but Aini was there so i couldn't. The next day my mother bought me a the cream but from some other place, i think it was from my aunt's saloon or something. And i was overjoyed. I think i was around 13 or 14 that time.

Then i started to rebel, i still don't know what triggered me so. Some people blame their friends. Pengaruh kawan-kawan, so they said. But i believe, even if its so, if diri sendiri tak nak, tak jadi jugak kan? So its actually both really. There's no need to blame other people for what bad things you've done because you played an important part in it too. Along the way i met some people, friends and 'friends'.

'Friends' ... some who still despise me till today. It used to bug me but im proud to say, they don't anymore. When i look at their life now, and compare it with mine, im glad and thankful that my life is much better now.

I feel much more peaceful, im changing for the better (sometimes merepek jugak, tapi syukurlah tak terkeluar dari landasan lagi seperti sebelumnya), and Allah permudahkan my life in so many ways this year and i feel sangat sangat bersyukur for that. I get almost everything that i want, my relationship with E is in a very good position and im working out on my relationship with my girlfriends and im working hard to be a better person each and every way.

Before this, it never came across to me to feel the need to put myself in other people's shoe and when i see something bad, i tend to judge and sometimes over judge. I said bad things to people and especially to a close friend of mine without thinking twice. But now, when i feel the need to say something, im much more careful with my words to her because i know she's not that privilege and i should try to understand her better and not put her down. And as i look back on all thats happened between me and this friend, i felt truly ashamed of my actions. To this dear friend, i am truly sorry.

To my 'friends' who despise me, one word - karma. And i know those people that i hate pun will say the same thing for me. So its a never ending circle really, but we must try our best to work hard to be better. InsyaAllah.