Life's A Peach

PMS yang paling teruk in my 24 years of living, earlier today. Could barely move and eat. The pain was so excruciating but alhamdulillah is all gone now, and im feeling better.

Im planning to go to Hatyai soon. Next week or end of this month. But i need to renew my passport first. I've never been to Hatyai before and im a bit nervous to go because to me Hatyai is not a safe place. But few friends who went there assured me that its fine so okay, i hope my trip will be a good one. Im going to scour the flea and night markets for some things for my future plans. Hopefully i'll get what i want.

That aside, i've moved Jedi (my hamster) from my granma's house to my aunt's house (where i live) because i feel that Jedi has been such a good boy lately and come to think of it, Jedi is always good, always behaving himself and has never bitten me before, unlike Peaches. Peaches is grumpy at times and please don't be fooled by the cute face and furry fur because she can be naugthy. She bit me 3-4 times and it was so painful and you should see the blood coming out of my fingers. She has very sharp teeth. My hamster, Lulubelle died because of her. I don't know what happened that night because they usually sleep together and i usually went to bed late (after Subuh) but i was so sleepy that night i slept before midnight and the next morning i went to check them out, Lulu was sitting quietly in the corner, soaking wet. I thought it was because of the water from the water bottle but i was so shocked to see that i was her own blood. I was too late to bring her to vet. She died on the way there. I was so sad, i cried. I really cried because i loved Lulu so much eventhough i could never hold her in my hands (she's not the tame type) but i loved her still.

Sometimes it scares me how quickly you forget someone after that person is gone. The memories will always be there but somehow after awhile you don't remember how the person really is anymore and it is so hard to remember because she's/he's not there.

Sometimes when i think about my dad, im terrified because i am forgetting him. His face, his smell and his voice ... I am scared i will forget all of it. I carry his photo with me everyday but its just a photo, nothing much. I wonder, can i go through another 24 years and still remember all this details about him when right now its all slipping away. Time goes by so fast, taking away all the precious memories i have of him. What an evil thing to do. What a cruel, cruel thing to do.

I miss you Abah, always have and always will.