Hair Issue

Its true what they say, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Saw E yesterday after a month of not seeing each other. We stopped speaking for 2 weeks and when we started talking to each other again, we couldn't stop texting each other! I miss him tremendously during our time apart. And now that its all routine again, it feels so good. No, it feels great.

But, what wasn't great was his new hairdo! Im not used seeing him with his hair that short. I've always preferred his shaggy hairdo than other type of hairdos. And definitely not this Scott Disick-ish hair. Left and right, most of the boys i know currently are sporting Disick's hairdo. Ugh!

I don't know if its just me, but Disick creepily reminds me of Patrick Bateman! The haircut, the clothes, their impeccable fashion sense, the flawless face, the suave, ... EVERYTHING screams Bateman! Im thinking he is probably Disick's idol or something righttt?

I miss E so much :'(

Tough Love

I would like to believe that my boyfriend and i are cut from the same cloth. But the more i think of it, we're not that alike.

He is soft spoken, i am not. He is a man of patience. I hate waiting and i get ticked off with little things most of the time. Perhaps we got separated at birth? Maybe his mother wanted a girl and got him. And maybe my mother wanted a boy and got me. Don't get me wrong. He is a manly man. But at times i feel like he's this little baby you know. Maybe he's like that because he's the only male among his siblings. He has 2 elder sisters and 2 younger ones. Yes, maybe that.

I got a little too hard on him tonight. Poor thing. I've been stressing out with a lot of things. And i know he's agreeing to disagree lately. I just can't help it. And i feel so bad that he's probably very down tonight because of what i did. This tough love thing is a hard thing to do.

"Although i may try to describe love, when i experience it, i am speechless" - Rumi

My Old Fart

E turned 28 yesterday, what an old fart.

I pretended like i didnt care that yesterday was his birthday and it worked. He was pissed because i gave him the 'whatever' treatment yesterday and today. But darling you've got punked!

I have planned something special for you this weekend and i hope you'll love it. I wouldnt miss your birthday for anything in the world ... okay i take that back, i might miss it for Chuck Bass. But that aside, you know i love you like a love song baby (sorry i just had to put this in, i cant get this song out of my head).

Oh how i cant wait for the weekend, i hope all goes well, insyaallah!

Happy birthday to my bestfriend, my teacher, my rock, my pain in the ass - the only one who can make me laugh and cry at the same time, the one who pushes me to be a better person everyday, the one who nags at me all day everyday, the one who i bug all the time, the one who has never read my blog, the one who stands by me through the good, the bad, the happy and the sad, here's wishing you a very happy 28th love :)

Damnit.

He proved me wrong and im glad that he's not ___________. But, why don't i feel like i've won something? I feel like im doomed. Shit. Should've never asked him to do that. Stupid stupid stupid.

Its true what they say, 'terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata buruk padahnya'. Oh Melissa, what have you got yourself into.

E is not back yet. So bored without him to bug around. And paling terseksa without him sebab ...













... takda sapa nak bawak p Hameediyahhhh, sighhh

Obsessed.

Hungrehhhhhhhhhhhh. Im craving for kerabu mangga and kerabu sotong. First time ever rasa kerabu mangga semalam and masyaallah sangat sedap okay. Now dok teringat-ingat. This might be my new food obsession for now.

Something about me is, when i like something, in this case ... food. Say if i like something, takkan rasa muak makan that thing everyday. I'll eat that same thing for few weeks then when i find a dish that i like, i'll repeat the same thing with it. Like before this it was Hameediyah's briyani. I am still addicted but i feel like im craving for the kerabu mangga much more now than the briyani.

Paling kesian sekali dekat E. Whenever i want something dia lah kena ke hulur ke hilir drive me here and there. When i think about it, i think i am lucky. He might not be rich with money but he is rich in other things. Rich in his advices, in his supports and many other things. Like many other couples, we do have our ups and downs ... but alhamdulillah till this very day we're still going on strong after 7 years ... and more years to come i hope.

E will always be my ongoing obsession and thaat kerabu mangga is now on the third spot. Second spot of course lah Chanel, duhh. But since E is busy tonight and godknows what he's doing right now not answering my calls, i think i have to settle for the food at kedai tomyam for dinner tonight.

Selamat menjamu selera dear readers! =)

Lucky Number Slevin

After reading Sabrina's blog, i totally changed my mind on what i wanted for my wedding. Everything became clearer and easier. Alhamdulillah. Thanks a million to Sab. Alot of infos of haram dan halal, dos and donts that she wrote is very useful to use as a guide for me to plan my wedding in the future.

I used to dream of a wedding, it was nothing big ... but its a very different vision from what i have in mind now. I dont feel the need to do 'bersanding' anymore now, i dont feel the need to give 10 hantarans, i dont feel the need for menepung tawar and such. Things that are not essential, not necessary to do but everyone is doing it because of 'adat' that isnt as important as what is 'harus' and 'halal'.

I still have a long way to go to understand more about Islam. And im learning now. Alhamdulillah i can think much clearly now. But i dont deny sometimes terleka jugak. Of course. I am still young. The feeling nak enjoy lagi, i wont deny, its still there. But semakin hari, semakin berkurang. Sometimes i feel old. Older than my mother perhaps. But sometimes i feel so young and all energetic. I just cant make up my mind what i want and what i dont. But i hope with the guidance of few people, i can be strong and keep pushing myself to do whats best for me in life and in the afterlife, insyaAllah. I can see that i am much better and much stronger now compare to before. Alot of things still nak kena improve, but im happy that im progressing and working on my flaws. I dont know why, but talking about all this ... sometimes terasa sebak sangat. I've done alot of things, God knows alot of things that im not proud of. And im so blessed and lucky that i am 'awake' now. Thanks a million to my pillar of strength, my boyfriend yang tak putus putus nasihat, yang tak putus putus pushing me to be a better person, yang tak putus putus loving me. Thank you for making me a better person and for being the bestest friend in the world.

Today marks the 7th year of our relationship. Happy anniversary E.

ILU. Always have and always will.

Addiction.

I have a new weird habit. Im addicted to my hands sanitizer! I'll squeeze it out every 10 minutes! I am currently crazy about Hovid Quickclean Instant Antibacterial Hand Gel which has a very nice citrus smell after using it and i am also using Eskulin Kids Mickey Hand Sanitizer. Both aren not sticky at all! You can lick your fingers after using and you won't feel a thing from both hands sanitizer.

Another not weird habit i have is buying online. Not just any clothes, but Muslimah fashion clothes, hijabs and accessories! Ha ha! I am slowly building my collection of appropriate clothes to wear with tudung because as of right now, i only have a few and the clothes are getting tighter because i am getting fatter. And besides that im getting tired of hearing Ezar's nagging saying "B takda baju labuh sikit ke?" or "B, boleh tak pakai dengan cardigan". Haihhh. Sabar lah i am changing slowly. Dia ni pulak nak express, mana boleh. But as for me, i feel like i will wear tudung on day to day basis only when i am fully ready because i don't want to be a hypocrite and i don't want to do it just because he told me so. But so far, alhamdulillah. I am happy and proud with the progress im making. Insyaallah soon, i will wear it full time. 

Friday last week, Ezar and I went to Hard Rock Hotel for out buffet dinner. The food was good but sadly there was not much of a choice. The fried rice was super good and the cheesecake was marvelous. I wish i had taken some pics but my N97 is still under repair (again, yes). Hopefully next month i can get my hands on some extra cash and get a Blackberry. Im done with Nokia phones.

Looking forward for another session at HRH this weekend with Lyanis!