Lelaki Oh Lelaki!

I find myself asking the same question over and over again. Apa yang dicari oleh kaum lelaki sebenarnya? I pelik. Ramai yang ada gf cantik, bini lawa badan bergetah segala tapi in the end, still cari 'makan' kat luar or in other words, main kayu 3 ... 4 atau 5. Bila ditanya, jawapan typical yang diberi yang buat aku nak lempang their faces is that lelaki boleh kahwin empat. Kalau sunnah Nabi tu lah yang di junjung tinggi sangat, sunnah Nabi yang lain, tak ingat pulak nak buat kan? Kalau pasal nafsu ni, apa pun sanggup redah.

Sometimes, i feel so kesian dengan the females out there yang ditipu. (That includes myself, im talking from my experience also yang pernah di tipu dan menipu. Biasalah, dulu budak budak, baru belajar nak tengok dunia, sebab tu gedik. Now im 24. I can think well and i've changed so much from my old self.) Sebab if they're the reason why the partner buat hal, its acceptable, tapi sometimes they're okay, treat the partner well, but still the partner tak puas jugak yang satu. What is the problem actually? If rasa tak habis enjoy lagi, why settle down? Tak kesian ke kat anak bini? And most importantly, tak kisah ke pasal dosa pahala?

Yang perempuan pun satu, rela sangat jadi gundik. Zaman sekarang perempuan dah desperate. Tak kisah macamana pun. Lelaki orang pun sanggup asalkan dapat benefit. Kalau cinta datang tulus dari hati, mungkin boleh accept jugak. Tapi ni tak. Sanggup jadi gundik sebab wang dan harta benda, dalam erti kata lain sanggup nak hidup mewah dengan cara yang mudah. Bukak rabbit hole, business sure laku. Of course lah. Ada ke orang nak bagi beg Chanel dengan cuma bersms atau bercakap phone? One in a million kot. And also, to you gundiks out there, tak fikir ke, maybe sekarang you buat kat perempuan lain. Tapi Allah SWT tu kan maha adil. Mungkin sekarang you berseronok and gedik-gedik atas kesengsaraan orang lain, atas kedukaan orang lain, tapi satu hari nanti, perempuan lain pulak akan buat benda yang sama. Atau maybe Allah tak tunjuk dengan cara tu. Maybe dia tunjuk dengan cara lain. Rumahtangga tak aman, marriage tak bahagia, takda zuriat ... etc. Jadi beringatlah dari sekarang sebab sekarang ni Tuhan bayar cash. Sekelip mata saja bala tu boleh datang. Kalau rasa hidup tak senang, tak aman, ask yourselves ... what did i do to deserve this? Why is my life like this, unhappy like others? Look deep down and from there, maybe you'll see what you've done. Hidup dah jadi tunggang langgang sebab karma dah datang and say hello mumbo jumbo.

And to all the gatai-gatai guys out there, kalau dah dapat someone who's perfect as your wife/girlfriend please treat her well. Semuanya dah cukup. Apa yang nak cari lagi? Kalau nak kira pasal nafsu ni, sampai kiamat pun tak habis. Kalau tak, takda lah cerita tok wan, tok ayah, rogol cucu cicit sendiri, rogol anak jiran dan sebagainya. Thats nafsu. Kalau tak dapat kawal, musnah hidup. And trust me, kalau hidup bergelumang dengan dosa dan nafsu, buat apa lah, memang takkan aman. You can have all the money in the world, all the Birkins, Ferraris, penthouses but you'll never be happy and satisfied with your life. You might think you are, but really ... you are not.

Renung renungkan lah my readers. Im not perfect. I still have a long way to go to be a good Muslim. This is just my two cents. Kalau kita tak ingat mati, keep on doing perkara perkara yang keji, if esok lusa ajal kita sampai, and tak sempat bertaubat, tak sempat nak ask Allah for His forgiveness and we leave the world dengan semua dosa dosa yang tinggi mengunung cam Gunung Everest, pahala kita pulak sekecil siput babi ... there's no turning back, no second chance for us, because we had our chance when we were alive but we didn't use it.

Nafsu boleh dikawal. Its up to yourself. When there's a will, there's a way.

Shweeet Dweaaams ... Heee ...

Okay, since two friends of mine posted this thing on their FB status, i feel terpanggil to write a post about this.

I fucking hate babytalks, period.

I don't understand how can some people (with their age over 20 year old, mind you) find all this digusting babytalks cute? I don't find it cute at all. WTF? What is wrong with you babies people? How old are you? A fucking 2 year old? Jebussssssss!

For example: "shweet jewk" or "sayee shukerrr" or "bawwuu buchukk" and the disgusting list goes on.

Bahasa Melayu and English is quite simple. Why do you want to trouble yourself fingers typing another few more extra words? You can write "jewwk" as "je" or "kowwt" as "kot". You might find it cute i tell you, but it really is disgusting to other. And its not only me saying this, trust me ... there's alot of others out friend who would agree on this.

So what im trying to say is, please age your age. You don't have to be cute when you're old. You can be cute in how you act, but not in your words please its too much to bear. I've a friend who uses this babytalk all the time and i honestly tak paham every single word yang dia tulis. And i don't know how some people can understand sebab tengok sekali je buat aku pening kepala okay! Your face doesn't go together with the way you talk. Its embarassing. Try to be normal like others please? Please try ... before i go into my 'Red Queen' mode.

Popcorn Time!

10 Movies I Wanna Watch! =)

01. SATC The Movie 2

02. Dear John

03. Let The Right One In

04. Remember Me

05. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

06. Salt

07. The Last Song

08. Shutter Island

09. Unknown White Male

10. Priest

11. Valentine's Day

12. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

Makan. Makan. Makann.

Went out with my mom yesterday to renew my passport for my upcoming Hatyai & Krabi trip. Im really excited to go on these trip esp. Krabi but at the same time im worried about my hamsters. Will they be okay if i leave them for 5 days? My mom la punya pasal ni, p tanya pulak like this now hilang all the excitement .... Haih.

Went to Feringghi with Anna and Sazzy around 9ish to check-out about the transportation to Krabi. I think i kinda prefer the company in Chulia Street more than this Feringghi one. Idk why. Then went for our dinner because the three of us were starving mad. Had Kompo fish which is ikan masak with dried chilli and gajus kot, i think. And another two dish was sotong goreng tepung and kangkung goreng belacan. Food was good. But the Kompo fish wasn't as good as when Anna and I had it for the first time.

I slept at Anna's last night, usung si Jedi sekali and godknows what other things that made my bag so heavy macam nak stay over for a week. Our plan was to go jogging lah petang tadi, but hujan pulak so tak sempat nak jog today and tak sempat nak rasmi my kasut. Poor thing tersadai dalam kotak for months dah. Being the mengada girlfriend that i am, i asked Ezar if his mom rajin to cook me my favourite sambal udang for today and of course lah boleh! So after Subuh he went to the market and bought RM30 worth of prawns. Went to his house after Maghrib for dinner. As usual my FMIL's cooking memang tak pernah menghampakan. Zara had fun playing with Jedi. And i had a huge smile plastered on my face when im done because the food was good. Dah lah lunch Anna's mom made nasi lauk yang sedap, dinner pun sedap. Gemok lah camni. Ada hati nak p jog konon. Macam lah nak jog everyday!

After dinner, sembang sembang the girls came to pick me up around 11pm and we went to see Alice In Wonderful. The movie was okay lah. I prefer the old version though. I had it when they try to remake any of the old cartoons, movies and shit. Buat rosak filem je.

4.36am and im still awake. Dok window online-shopping. Is it too early to buy clothes for Krabi? The trip is almost 2 months away. Whaddaya say?

Life's A Peach

PMS yang paling teruk in my 24 years of living, earlier today. Could barely move and eat. The pain was so excruciating but alhamdulillah is all gone now, and im feeling better.

Im planning to go to Hatyai soon. Next week or end of this month. But i need to renew my passport first. I've never been to Hatyai before and im a bit nervous to go because to me Hatyai is not a safe place. But few friends who went there assured me that its fine so okay, i hope my trip will be a good one. Im going to scour the flea and night markets for some things for my future plans. Hopefully i'll get what i want.

That aside, i've moved Jedi (my hamster) from my granma's house to my aunt's house (where i live) because i feel that Jedi has been such a good boy lately and come to think of it, Jedi is always good, always behaving himself and has never bitten me before, unlike Peaches. Peaches is grumpy at times and please don't be fooled by the cute face and furry fur because she can be naugthy. She bit me 3-4 times and it was so painful and you should see the blood coming out of my fingers. She has very sharp teeth. My hamster, Lulubelle died because of her. I don't know what happened that night because they usually sleep together and i usually went to bed late (after Subuh) but i was so sleepy that night i slept before midnight and the next morning i went to check them out, Lulu was sitting quietly in the corner, soaking wet. I thought it was because of the water from the water bottle but i was so shocked to see that i was her own blood. I was too late to bring her to vet. She died on the way there. I was so sad, i cried. I really cried because i loved Lulu so much eventhough i could never hold her in my hands (she's not the tame type) but i loved her still.

Sometimes it scares me how quickly you forget someone after that person is gone. The memories will always be there but somehow after awhile you don't remember how the person really is anymore and it is so hard to remember because she's/he's not there.

Sometimes when i think about my dad, im terrified because i am forgetting him. His face, his smell and his voice ... I am scared i will forget all of it. I carry his photo with me everyday but its just a photo, nothing much. I wonder, can i go through another 24 years and still remember all this details about him when right now its all slipping away. Time goes by so fast, taking away all the precious memories i have of him. What an evil thing to do. What a cruel, cruel thing to do.

I miss you Abah, always have and always will.